You Over Bacon
by chocolate rules333
Summary: At Gibby's chaotic birthday party Carly witnesses a sweet moment between Sam and Freddie.


_Prompt for Seddie Oneshot _

_Today my girlfriend sat me down and told me that she'd been thinking long and hard and had decided that if she had to, she would choose me over bacon.__ This means so much more to me than 'I love you'._

"Spencer, hurry up!" I shrieked to my older brother. Today was Gibby's birthday and he was having a party downtown.

"Do I _have _to go?" Spencer whined from his bedroom.

"Yes, you have to!" I shouted back. "You're Gibby's friend too. He'd be crushed if you skipped the party just because you didn't want to see his mom."

"But _she_ wouldn't be crushed."

"_Spencer!"_ I shouted, slightly irritated.

"Fine, fine I'm coming," he grumbled as he slowly trudged into the living room. His jeans and t-shirt with a smiley face on it were probably too casual for the party we were attending but arguing with him would make us another twenty minutes later.

"Well come on, then," I said, adding an eye roll when I saw he was wearing his 'pouty face'. "Sam and Freddie are already outside."

Spencer grumbled some more but I ignored him this time and pushed the door open. My two best friends were right outside our door. Sam was glaring angrily at Freddie and he was glaring right back at her. They were both very deep shades of red. I might have asked what had happened if we weren't already so late.

"Come on, you guys, we're late," I told them.

"Okay, Carls, we're coming," Sam answered, smiling. She moved forward and pointedly elbowed Freddie in the gut. He groaned and doubled over but I just kept walking. I knew when to fight my battles and telling off Sam would have made us another ten minutes later.

"Sam!" Freddie squeaked. She grinned and elbowed him again. "Stop that!" he shouted.

"Fine, fine, sorry, Fredlumps," Sam said, feigning guilt. He looked at her skeptically just as she elbowed him again.

"Really?" Freddie asked, exasperated. Sam merely smirked.

Spencer had been walking behind them, awkwardly watching the exchange the whole time. "And you wonder why people are so surprised to find out you two are dating." he said, chuckling. Sam rolled her eyes while Freddie blushed and grinned sheepishly.

Yes, that's right, my two best friends are 'going out', 'dating', 'boyfriend and girlfriend', the whole enchilada. Now some might say that this was completely out of nowhere because they constantly try to kill each other. I can't blame these people. Even I was surprised when it happened. But, after studying their behavior and carefully thinking it through I've finally come up with a theory. Their constant arguments are how they show affection. Crazy? Yes. But this is Sam and Freddie we're talking about. They're hardly normal.

Once they started going out I almost expected things to change. But then again, lovey dovey Sam and Freddie? Ick! I might have forced them to break up. Luckily, they stayed just the same. They kept torturing each other; if anything Sam picks on Freddie more. The only difference is I occasionally walk in on them making out in awkward locations. Seems they end most of their fights that way. Yes, there have been a few awkward times I do not wish to recount.

…

When we finally arrived at Gibby's party we were almost a half an hour late. Gibby didn't seem to mind though. He'd told us he was holding his party at a nice place downtown. Apparently his definition of 'a nice place' was an old Bingo parlor. Hey, at least it was downtown. He'd also said that it was just a small party; us, Tasha, and his family. He forgot to mention that his family was huge! Seriously, the second we walked in we were bombarded with Gibsons, each weirder than the next. I saw several grown men walking around shirtless like it was the normal thing to do. They weren't good looking grown men either. I'll spare you the finer details.

Despite all his freaking out, Spencer had little trouble avoiding Gibby's mother. To fill his time, he competed in an intense shuffle board game with Gibby's Uncle Jim. Freddie, Sam, and I talked with Gibby and Tasha for a bit but the Gibson was quickly pulled away by his relatives. Tasha didn't seem to care and hurried after them, giggling. I still wonder what's wrong with her.

Gibby's relatives weren't mean, they were just… odd. One girl, cousin Grace, came up to Sam, Freddie, and I and asked for our autographs. She was freaking out. It was a little weird because we weren't too used to the attention but we signed a napkin for her and she ran away squealing.

Later we met Aunt Patty who seemed friendly enough but wouldn't stop going on and on about the strange lump on her back. While Freddie and I were disgusted Sam seemed unperturbed and offered advice that I will not convey because you will probably throw up.

Then there was Uncle Roy and Aunt Velma. Uncle Roy was a chubby man with a beer belly who happened to be one of the men who found it acceptable to not wear a shirt. Aunt Velma was a bony woman with pointed features and pale skin. They droned on and on about their nine precious children while Sam sat in a chair snoring and Freddie and I tried to escape. Finally, we were saved by a pretty girl our age who introduced herself as cousin Opal.

Cousin Opal claimed to be from France. She had no accent to speak of but I decided to let that pass. Anyone was better than Uncle Roy and Aunt Velma. She told Freddie and me all about France. I'm pretty sure half of what she said was made up but I didn't correct her because that wouldn't have done much good. It wasn't until she started talking about nude beaches that I began to feel uncomfortable. I could tell Freddie did too because he had tensed up and was slowly inching away. Opal didn't notice. She kept droning on and on. Were all Gibsons this way?

"You have no idea how awesome it is to be out in public without any clothes on!" she exclaimed for like the fourth time. I nodded and Freddie gave an awkward laugh. "Plus they're great places to go with your boyfriend," she said, wiggling an eyebrow suggestively. Freddie had turned bright red and I'm sure I did too.

"W-what?" I stuttered. "He's not my…"

Sam cut me off. She was glaring daggers at cousin Opal. "He's _my_ boyfriend," she growled. She linked her arm through Freddie's which was weird because Sam rarely so much as touched him in public; except to cause him pain, of course.

Opal took a step backwards. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that," She mumbled. Her voice shook a little. Sam continued to glare at her and the girl scampered away. I can't say I was sad.

"Man, what is it with all these freaks? Can we just eat at the Groovie Smoothie?" she asked.

Right on cue, several people danced in. Each person held a huge tray that contained nothing but meat. The Gibsons cheered. Platters were stacked high with ham, pork, turkey, beef, and even bacon. Sam's eyes lit up. She raced forward and Freddie chased after her. With the rush of people around me I lost sight of them. I ended up eating my dinner with Guppy. Although the kid didn't say much he was still pretty good company. Or at least the best option I had.

Twenty minutes later I still hadn't seen Sam or Freddie. I was about to go looking for them when Spencer ran up to me. He was wearing that plastic crown you can get at Burger King. "Carly, guess what?"

I smirked. "What's up?"

"I'm the shuffle board champion of Gibby's birthday party, the shuffle board king!" he announced proudly as he struck his interpretation of a kingly pose.

"That's great," I said, laughing. I noticed Uncle Jim glaring at Spencer from across the room and laughed harder.

"Hey Carly," Gibby said as him and Tasha approached me.

"Hey Gib, having fun?" I asked.

"Yeah, the party's great and it's almost time for cake. Have you seen Sam and Freddie?"

"No, not for a while," I admitted.

"Well, you better find them. You have to be on time for cake if you want a piece," he said. I wasn't quite sure what he meant but I decided it was best not to ask.

"Okay, I'll find them," I answered. Gibby and Tasha were swallowed back into the crowd of people as I walked away. I decided I needed a quick breath of fresh air just to get away from Gibby's family, then I'd continue trying to find my friends. I opened the door a bit and looked through. To my surprise, Sam and Freddie were seated on the steps of the deserted building nextdoor. They didn't seem to notice me and I was going to call out to them but something stopped me. They were sitting side by side with their shoulders just barely touching. Freddie was telling Sam something and she was stuffing bacon into her mouth from a tray she had hijacked from the party. They looked almost like a normal teenage couple which was rare for them; at least around people.

"This is delicious bacon," Sam moaned, her eyes were closed as if she was savoring every bite.

"Even better than Bolivian bacon?" Freddie asked.

Sam took another bite. "Its right up there," she replied. She sighed contentedly and leaned back into Freddie's chest. He seemed to tense up for a moment but then relaxed and put his arm around her. I silently cooed at how cute they were. I rarely ever saw my two best friends actually acting like a couple should. I should have felt guilty for spying but, really, I was their best friend, I was entitled.

"Fredlumps."

"What is it, Sam?" he asked, obviously expecting an insult.

"I've been thinking long and hard about this and I've finally come to decision," she continued. She was still gnawing on a piece of bacon.

Freddie raised an eyebrow at her. "Thinking about what?"

Sam swallowed. "Well, if I really had to, and I mean in an apocalyptic emergency," she paused and took a deep breath, "I would choose you over bacon."

I gasped. Freddie's mouth flew open. We both knew that, coming from Sam, that statement meant even more than 'I love you'. Freddie readjusted himself so he was looking his girlfriend right in the eyes. "What?" he asked quietly.

"Don't make me say it again!" Sam hissed.

"Seriously?" Freddie asked, still shocked. Sam blushed and looked away, scowling. However, she nodded her head. Sam may be a good liar but I was pretty sure that at this moment she was telling the truth.

Freddie was grinning at her. "Sam… I..."

"Don't get all mushy gushy on me, Freddork," she interrupted. She was now as red as a tomato.

She looked up at him and half smiled. He looked down at her lips. I could see where this was going. I threw the door open. "Cake!" I shouted.

"Cake?" Sam shrieked. She pushed Freddie away from her and didn't even look back when she knocked him to the ground. She dashed by me back into the chaotic party room.

Freddie stumbled onto his feet. He seemed to be in a daze and had a goofy, lopsided grin still plastered on his face.

"Having fun?" I asked, smirking.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

Cheers could be heard from inside the party room. "Come on, we better hurry."

When we walked inside we saw two of Gibby's uncles carrying the biggest cake I have ever seen. It was as big as my kitchen table and looked large enough to feed the entirety of Bushwell.

"That's one big cake," Freddie commented. I nodded in agreement.

Spencer was standing over the cake looking down at it in amazement. Suddenly, Uncle Jim came out of the crowd and pushed my brother forward. "What the?" Spencer yelled as he fell face first into the humongous cake. A collective gasp spread through the room, followed by an intense silence.

Finally, little Guppy Gibson appeared from the crowd. He walked forward and threw some of the ruined cake into the air shrieking, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The cake landed in his hair like makeshift confetti. All of the Gibsons cheered.

As the cheering began to die down Sam appeared from the mess of people, grabbed a handful of the cake and chucked it expertly at Freddie's head. The force of the cake nearly knocked him over. He blinked at her and she stuck out her tongue before shoveling some cake into her mouth. The Gibsons shouted and cheered louder. Soon everyone was chucking cake at each other and eating it with their hands. Despite how disgusting it was I decided to join in on the fun. Hey, you know what they say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

Through all the delicious madness I spotted Sam and Freddie grinning at each other in the corner of the room with their hands intertwined, both covered in cake. Sure, they'll never be a normal couple but that's why I love them.

**This story is based off the prompt on the top. It's from lovegivesmehope. I wouldn't recommend going there. This is a very old one. Now they are all a bunch of posts from desperate middle-schoolers that are oh so in love with their boyfriends. Still, when I saw this I immediately thought Sam and Freddie. I'm not sure if this is canon with iOMG or not but I decided to write this because I couldn't stand reading about super lovey dovey Seddie. It's weird, at least to me. Thanks for reading. Shoot me a review if you can.**


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